
Modeline Longjohn
Randon rants# Deciding to…
So I sit beside the window, with the sun streaming in and falling on parts of my face
And I love that sun on my face…….
And I think to myself, I need to do this
I need to act on what I have decided to do
Letting go and not caring in all those ways that get me worried
And I have some thoughts on my mind
Questions:
Should I share?
Should I just leave it and let it get me upset at some point?
Well….here goes
On the back of choosing to let go, I guess it will get easier as time goes on
I read somewhere that you have to fake it till you make it, right?
The other day, someone was saying to me about
How much I think and plan on doing this and that
And now thinking of it
That’s me, isn’t it
That’s me, and I have to let me go
And let me be…me..
by not protecting so much of me
Because honestly, it gets exhausting
So I decided
and I am still deciding to…
I guess I will keep deciding everyday of my life
Deciding to:
Speak more….of what I actually think
To listen more….to people
To laugh more…..as childlike as I seem when I do that
To play more…….
To live more……
To share more….
Yes, I have to decide
and keep deciding everyday
Not for anyone’s benefit
But for mine
And I guess it will get easier to do this
because at some point, it will become second nature
And a good habit as well
And any day I can’t decide…I will just take it the way it comes
And that’s fine too
Because I don’t have to, or need to be perfect
No, not even for a second
I would choose to be this imperfect any day, any time
Why, because this way I will never get bored
I will know that those who love me, love me for me
And not because I am this perfect human
Deciding…is about loving
and accepting my imperfections
Because that’s where the magic happens…
In the midst of all this imperfection
Comes this beautiful person….
Well…I kind of think this may apply to other people as well..
Anyway, just my thoughts.
With Love,
M.
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