Randon rants# Deciding to…

So I sit beside the window, with the sun streaming in and falling on parts of my face

And I love that sun on my face…….

And I think to myself, I need to do this

I need to act on what I have decided to do

Letting go and not caring in all those ways that get me worried

And I have some thoughts on my mind

Questions:

Should I share?

Should I just leave it and let it get me upset at some point?

Well….here goes

On the back of choosing to let go, I guess it will get easier as time goes on

I read somewhere that you have to fake it till you make it, right?

The other day, someone was saying to me about

How much I think and plan on doing this and that

And now thinking of it

That’s me, isn’t it

That’s me, and I have to let me go

And let me be…me..

by not protecting so much of me

Because honestly, it gets exhausting

So I decided

and I am still deciding to…

I guess I will keep deciding everyday of my life

Deciding to:

Speak more….of what I actually think

To listen more….to people

To laugh more…..as childlike as I seem when I do that

To play more…….

To live more……

To share more….

Yes, I have to decide

and keep deciding everyday

Not for anyone’s benefit

But for mine

And I guess it will get easier to do this

because at some point, it will become second nature

And a good habit as well

And any day I can’t decide…I will just take it the way it comes

And that’s fine too

Because I don’t have to, or need to be perfect

No, not even for a second

I would choose to be this imperfect any day, any time

Why, because this way I will never get bored

I will know that those who love me, love me for me

And not because I am this perfect human

Deciding…is about loving

and accepting my imperfections

Because that’s where the magic happens…

In the midst of all this imperfection

Comes this beautiful person….

Well…I kind of think this may apply to other people as well..

Anyway, just my thoughts.

With Love,

M.

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