Midnight rantings 103#: being human
Hmmm…so dis girl has been a busy girl
No, haven’t been thinking or doing one of the normal things I do
This girl has been playing out of her leagues for a bit.
Right, enough of my riddles already.
I am finding it hard to actually say what I want to say
Perhaps because there is so much to say
But let me start with this
Last night, I had so many questions
Questions that have been on my mind for the longest time
E.g….God, why me?
Why all these?
Do I deserve this?
Why? Why? Why?
And all those questions that throw the floodgates open
Well, the usual me would control the floodgates till I could be alone
But no, not this time
I didn’t…and it felt good to just let go
Yes…let the cover slip and let myself go
And it didn’t dawn on me till several hours later
That that’s what I have been doing
Not letting go…always being in control
In essence, not been human
But then, why wouldn’t I want to be human, you would wonder?
Well, I wonder it too.
If I am honest to myself, I know why
What’s so scary about been human?
Could it be the vulnerability?
Or the highs and lows?
Or the possibility of rejection?
Well, whatever it is that’s so scary about being human
I guess it’s time to stop running
And just stop…
Stop stop stop…
Stop being control of everything
It’s time to start being human
And live in the now.
Bottom line: Don’t try to control anything and everything
And in the words of some friends
“Start living in the now!”
“Let it flow naturally!”
And in my own words
“Live in the now and savour every second: good, bad, whatever comes!”
Enjoy being human…