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Midnight rantings 103#: being human

Hmmm…so dis girl has been a busy girl

No, haven’t been thinking or doing one of the normal things I do

This girl has been playing out of her leagues for a bit.

Right, enough of my riddles already.

I am finding it hard to actually say what I want to say

Perhaps because there is so much to say

But let me start with this

Last night, I had so many questions

Questions that have been on my mind for the longest time

E.g….God, why me?

Why all these?

Do I deserve this?

Why? Why? Why?

And all those questions that throw the floodgates open

Well, the usual me would control the floodgates till I could be alone

But no, not this time

I didn’t…and it felt good to just let go

Yes…let the cover slip and let myself go

And it didn’t dawn on me till several hours later

That that’s what I have been doing

Not letting go…always being in control

In essence, not been human

But then, why wouldn’t I want to be human, you would wonder?

Well, I wonder it too.

If I am honest to myself, I know why

What’s so scary about been human?

Could it be the vulnerability?

Or the highs and lows?

Or the possibility of rejection?

Well, whatever it is that’s so scary about being human

I guess it’s time to stop running

And just stop…

Stop stop stop…

Stop being control of everything

It’s time to start being human

And live in the now.

Bottom line: Don’t try to control anything and everything

And in the words of some friends

“Start living in the now!” 

“Let it flow naturally!”

And in my own words

“Live in the now and savour every second: good, bad, whatever comes!”

Enjoy being human…

With Love,

M.

#being #Human

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